Should I Quit My Job to Care for an Elderly Parent?

Last updated: October 12, 2026

What quitting can cost your own retirement, the time off you may be able to take instead, the programs that pay family caregivers, and the questions to ask before you walk away from a paycheck.

You love your mom. Or your dad.

Nobody is questioning that.

But who takes care of your retirement while you’re taking care of theirs?

What Happens If You Quit Your Job to Take Care of a Family Member?

You wouldn’t be alone.

Among family caregivers who work and aren’t self-employed, here’s what caregiving did to their jobs:³

• 56 percent went in late, left early, or took time off.
• 18 percent went from full time to part time or cut their hours.
• 16 percent took a leave of absence.
• 9 percent gave up working entirely.
• 8 percent turned down a promotion.
• 7 percent retired early.
• 6 percent lost job benefits.

And here’s what it did to caregivers’ money:³

• 31 percent stopped saving.
• 24 percent used up their short-term savings.
• 23 percent took on more debt.
• 13 percent used long-term savings, like retirement accounts, to pay for other things.
• 9 percent put off retirement or decided to never retire.

On top of that, family caregivers spend roughly $7,200 a year of their own money on caregiving expenses.⁴ When a parent can’t drive anymore, someone has to get them to the doctor and the store. See how seniors who can’t drive get around. If your parent is still driving and you’re worried, we cover the steps that often work before involving the state in What to Do If an Elderly Parent Won’t Stop Driving?

For what care costs and who ends up paying for it, see How Much Does Long-Term Care Cost Per Month?

What Quitting Does to Your Own Retirement

When the paycheck stops, what else stops with it?

The money going into your 401(k) or IRA each month?

The match from your employer?

Here are three more that people don’t always think about.

Your health insurance. If your coverage comes through work, it can end when the job does. COBRA lets you keep it for a while. For a job loss or a cut in hours, it usually lasts up to 18 months, it applies to private employers with 20 or more employees, and you can be charged up to 102 percent of the premium.⁵ If you’re under 65, you need a plan until Medicare starts.

Your Social Security. Social Security bases your benefit on your highest 35 years of earnings. Years with no earnings count as zeroes.¹ Every year you don’t work is a year that can’t replace a zero or a low year.¹

Your time. Caregivers spend an average of 27 hours a week providing care, and about 24 percent put in more than 40 hours a week.³ That’s a second full-time job, without the paycheck.

Ask it plainly. If you quit today, would your own retirement still work?

Can I Take Time Off Work to Care for My Elderly Parents?

Maybe you should check before you quit.

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) lets eligible employees take up to 12 workweeks of leave in a 12-month period to care for a parent with a serious health condition.²

• The leave is unpaid, but your job is protected.²
• Your employer has to keep your group health coverage going on the same terms as if you hadn’t taken leave.²
• To qualify, you generally have to work for an employer with 50 or more employees, have worked there at least 12 months, have at least 1,250 hours of service in the last 12 months, and work at a location with at least 50 employees within 75 miles.²

And ask your employer what else it offers. Among family caregivers who work and aren’t self-employed, in 2025:³

• 68 percent said their employer offered paid sick days.
• 65 percent said unpaid family leave.
• 61 percent said flexible work hours.
• 50 percent said paid family leave.

It depends a lot on how you’re paid. Paid family leave was offered to 60 percent of salaried caregivers, compared with 35 percent of hourly caregivers.³

What Can I Claim If I Give Up Work to Care for Someone?

Can you get paid to take care of your mom or dad? Sometimes.

Medicaid. As of 2024, 47 states and Washington, D.C. allow payment to family caregivers for personal care services under Medicaid long-term care programs.³ These are usually self-directed programs, where the person getting care has the authority to “recruit, hire, train and supervise” the people who care for them.⁶

In Missouri, the program is called Consumer Directed Services. Missouri’s Department of Health and Senior Services says it “allows the participant to hire and manage their own caregivers, including family members.”⁷

The catch? These are Medicaid programs, so they’re for people who are on Medicaid.³⁶ For what that means for your parent’s income and savings, see Do Nursing Homes Take Your Social Security Check?

The VA. If your parent is a veteran, the VA’s Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers can pay the primary family caregiver a monthly stipend. It also offers health care coverage through CHAMPVA, caregiver training, and at least 30 days of respite care a year.⁸ The veteran generally needs a VA disability rating of 70 percent or higher and needs at least 6 months of continuous, in-person personal care.⁸

Even then, it rarely covers everything. In 2025, 11.2 million family caregivers were paid for some of their care, and most of them were paid for only part of the hours they gave. Only 1.9 million were paid for all of it.³

What Is the 40/70 Rule for Aging and Caregiving?

The 40/70 rule says the time to start talking with your parents about aging is when you’re getting close to 40 and they’re getting close to 70.⁹ It comes from Home Instead Senior Care, a home care company.⁹

Whatever age you are now, the idea is the right one. Have the conversation before the crisis, not in the hospital hallway.

What would you want to know?

• Where does your parent’s income come from, and how long will it last?
• Is there a plan for care, or is the plan you?
• Who has the legal authority to help if they can’t make decisions?
• What would it mean for your family, and your job, if the plan is you?

What This Means for Your Retirement Income

Here’s the question that needs to be addressed.

Should the plan for your parent’s care be your retirement?

And turn it around. Should the plan for your care be your kids’ retirement?

Does your retirement income floor cover the essentials, the adventures, the experiences, and the memories with the people you love? And what would a care event do to the rest of your savings?

What does the retirement you want actually cost?

And how long would your money actually last?

Frequently Asked Questions

About Kurt H. Jackson

Experience: Since founding KJ Financial in 2010, Kurt H. Jackson has worked with retirees and pre-retirees across Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, and Florida who discovered that the retirement plan they had built around a fixed withdrawal rule was far more fragile than they realized. He has worked directly with clients coming out of the 2008 crash, and with clients who retired into the 2020 COVID drop and the inflation spike of 2021 to 2023, and he has seen firsthand what sequence of returns risk does to a withdrawal-only strategy versus a Lifestyle-First plan with a guaranteed income floor. Before founding KJ Financial, he spent 20 years as a Certified Mortgage Planner working with more than 1,000 clients on major financial commitments, giving him deep insight into how financial decisions compound over time.

Expertise: Kurt is a Retirement Lifestyle Architect and the creator of the Lifestyle-First Retirement Income Planning framework. He builds guaranteed lifetime income, which he calls Protected Lifetime Income (PLI), under both his clients’ essentials and their non-negotiables, the adventures, the experiences and the memories with those they care about. With that income floor in place, the rest of their money no longer has to pay the bills, which means it doesn’t have to be sold in a down market. He is Life and Health Insurance Licensed in MO, NE, KS, IA, and FL. His practice focuses exclusively on insurance-based, tax-optimized retirement income strategies. He does not manage investments or sell securities.

Authoritativeness: Kurt founded KJ Financial and operates MaxMyRetirementIncome.com as a dedicated educational resource for retirees. His work is grounded in peer-reviewed and independently published research, cited directly on each page. He applies that research to the practical income planning decisions retirees face every day in the states he serves.

Trustworthiness: KJ Financial is a compliance-first firm. All figures and research citations on this page are sourced from publicly available, independently published studies and are linked directly in the content. Kurt is paid by commission from the insurance company that issues the policy. Kurt H. Jackson is not a securities broker, registered investment advisor, or CPA. Guarantees rely on the claims-paying ability of the issuing insurance company.

Contact KJ Financial:
1014 E. 5th St., Maryville, MO 64468
Direct: 816.582.5532
Email: kurt@kjfinancialonline.com
Website: www.MaxMyRetirementIncome.com

Sources

1. Social Security Administration, “Additional Work Can Increase Your Future Benefits,” Publication No. 05-10702, June 2022. Says benefits are based on your highest 35 years of earnings, years with no earnings count as zeroes, and each year you work can replace a zero or low earnings year.
2. U.S. Department of Labor, Wage and Hour Division, “Family and Medical Leave Act”. Says eligible employees can take up to 12 workweeks of leave in a 12-month period to care for a parent with a serious health condition, with group health benefits continued, and lists the eligibility rules (50 or more employees, 12 months, 1,250 hours, 50 employees within 75 miles).
3. AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, “Caregiving in the US 2025”. Reports the work impacts among working, not self-employed caregivers (56, 18, 16, 9, 8, 7, and 6 percent), the financial impacts (31, 24, 23, 13, and 9 percent), 27 hours of care a week on average with 24 percent over 40 hours, the 2025 share reporting each workplace benefit (68, 65, 61, and 50 percent) and paid family leave for salaried vs. hourly workers (60 vs. 35 percent), that 47 states and Washington, D.C. allowed payment to family caregivers under Medicaid long-term care programs as of 2024, and that 11.2 million caregivers were paid for some care and 1.9 million solely paid.
4. AARP, “New Report Reveals Crisis Point for America’s 63 Million Family Caregivers,” July 24, 2025. Says caregivers pay roughly $7,200 a year out-of-pocket in caregiving expenses.
5. U.S. Department of Labor, Employee Benefits Security Administration, “FAQs on COBRA Continuation Health Coverage for Workers”. Says COBRA applies to private-sector employers with 20 or more employees, lasts up to 18 months after termination or reduction in hours, and can cost up to 102 percent of the premium.
6. Medicaid.gov, “Self-Directed Services”. Defines employer authority as decision-making authority to recruit, hire, train and supervise the individuals who furnish their services.
7. Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services, Home and Community Based Services. Says Consumer Directed Services allows the participant to hire and manage their own caregivers, including family members, to assist with activities of daily living.
8. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, “Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers”. Lists a monthly stipend, CHAMPVA health care coverage, caregiver training, and at least 30 days of respite care a year, and eligibility including a VA disability rating of 70 percent or higher and a need for at least 6 months of continuous, in-person personal care services.
9. Observer-Reporter, “40/70 Rule helps children talk with aging adults about life issues,” October 26, 2014. Describes the rule and says it is a Home Instead Senior Care program.

Every figure on this page was checked against its numbered source on September 16, 2026.

All figures are as of the dates shown and are for education only. Leave, Medicaid, and VA rules have eligibility requirements and can change. This page is not legal, tax, or Medicaid planning advice. Questions about your own situation belong with your employer’s benefits office, an elder law attorney, or the VA.