Should I Quit My Job to Care for an Elderly Parent?

Last updated: September 16, 2026

What quitting can cost your own retirement, the time off you may be able to take instead, the programs that pay family caregivers, and the questions to ask before you walk away from a paycheck.

You love your mom. Or your dad.

Nobody is questioning that.

But who takes care of your retirement while you’re taking care of theirs?

What Happens If You Quit Your Job to Take Care of a Family Member?

You wouldn’t be alone.

Among family caregivers who work and aren’t self-employed, here’s what caregiving did to their jobs:³

• 56 percent went in late, left early, or took time off.
• 18 percent went from full time to part time or cut their hours.
• 16 percent took a leave of absence.
• 9 percent gave up working entirely.
• 8 percent turned down a promotion.
• 7 percent retired early.
• 6 percent lost job benefits.

And here’s what it did to caregivers’ money:³

• 31 percent stopped saving.
• 24 percent used up their short-term savings.
• 23 percent took on more debt.
• 13 percent used long-term savings, like retirement accounts, to pay for other things.
• 9 percent put off retirement or decided to never retire.

On top of that, family caregivers spend roughly $7,200 a year of their own money on caregiving expenses.⁴ When a parent can’t drive anymore, someone has to get them to the doctor and the store. See how seniors who can’t drive get around.

For what care costs and who ends up paying for it, see How Much Does Long-Term Care Cost Per Month?.

What Quitting Does to Your Own Retirement

When the paycheck stops, what else stops with it?

The money going into your 401(k) or IRA each month?

The match from your employer?

Here are three more that people don’t always think about.

Your health insurance. If your coverage comes through work, it can end when the job does. COBRA lets you keep it for a while. For a job loss or a cut in hours, it usually lasts up to 18 months, it applies to private employers with 20 or more employees, and you can be charged up to 102 percent of the premium.⁵ If you’re under 65, you need a plan until Medicare starts.

Your Social Security. Social Security bases your benefit on your highest 35 years of earnings. Years with no earnings count as zeroes.¹ Every year you don’t work is a year that can’t replace a zero or a low year.¹

Your time. Caregivers spend an average of 27 hours a week providing care, and about 24 percent put in more than 40 hours a week.³ That’s a second full-time job, without the paycheck.

Ask it plainly. If you quit today, would your own retirement still work?

Can I Take Time Off Work to Care for My Elderly Parents?

Maybe you should check before you quit.

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) lets eligible employees take up to 12 workweeks of leave in a 12-month period to care for a parent with a serious health condition.²

• The leave is unpaid, but your job is protected.²
• Your employer has to keep your group health coverage going on the same terms as if you hadn’t taken leave.²
• To qualify, you generally have to work for an employer with 50 or more employees, have worked there at least 12 months, have at least 1,250 hours of service in the last 12 months, and work at a location with at least 50 employees within 75 miles.²

And ask your employer what else it offers. Among family caregivers who work and aren’t self-employed, in 2025:³

• 68 percent said their employer offered paid sick days.
• 65 percent said unpaid family leave.
• 61 percent said flexible work hours.
• 50 percent said paid family leave.

It depends a lot on how you’re paid. Paid family leave was offered to 60 percent of salaried caregivers, compared with 35 percent of hourly caregivers.³

What Can I Claim If I Give Up Work to Care for Someone?

Can you get paid to take care of your mom or dad? Sometimes.

Medicaid. As of 2024, 47 states and Washington, D.C. allow payment to family caregivers for personal care services under Medicaid long-term care programs.³ These are usually self-directed programs, where the person getting care has the authority to “recruit, hire, train and supervise” the people who care for them.⁶

In Missouri, the program is called Consumer Directed Services. Missouri’s Department of Health and Senior Services says it “allows the participant to hire and manage their own caregivers, including family members.”⁷

The catch? These are Medicaid programs, so they’re for people who are on Medicaid.³⁶ For what that means for your parent’s income and savings, see Do Nursing Homes Take Your Social Security Check?.

The VA. If your parent is a veteran, the VA’s Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers can pay the primary family caregiver a monthly stipend. It also offers health care coverage through CHAMPVA, caregiver training, and at least 30 days of respite care a year.⁸ The veteran generally needs a VA disability rating of 70 percent or higher and needs at least 6 months of continuous, in-person personal care.⁸

Even then, it rarely covers everything. In 2025, 11.2 million family caregivers were paid for some of their care, and most of them were paid for only part of the hours they gave. Only 1.9 million were paid for all of it.³

What Is the 40/70 Rule for Aging and Caregiving?

The 40/70 rule says the time to start talking with your parents about aging is when you’re getting close to 40 and they’re getting close to 70.⁹ It comes from Home Instead Senior Care, a home care company.⁹

Whatever age you are now, the idea is the right one. Have the conversation before the crisis, not in the hospital hallway.

What would you want to know?

• Where does your parent’s income come from, and how long will it last?
• Is there a plan for care, or is the plan you?
• Who has the legal authority to help if they can’t make decisions?
• What would it mean for your family, and your job, if the plan is you?

What This Means for Your Retirement Income

Here’s the question that needs to be addressed.

Should the plan for your parent’s care be your retirement?

And turn it around. Should the plan for your care be your kids’ retirement?

Does your retirement income floor cover the essentials, the adventures, the experiences, and the memories with the people you love? And what would a care event do to the rest of your savings?

What does the retirement you want actually cost?

And how long would your money actually last?

Frequently Asked Questions

All figures are as of the dates shown and are for education only. Leave, Medicaid, and VA rules have eligibility requirements and can change. This page is not legal, tax, or Medicaid planning advice. Questions about your own situation belong with your employer’s benefits office, an elder law attorney, or the VA.